


Cruise Control

by my_mad_fatuation



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cruise Ships, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 11:43:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7616764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_mad_fatuation/pseuds/my_mad_fatuation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rae's mum and her new husband, Karim, decide to go on a honeymoon/family holiday on a Caribbean cruise, where Rae meets Finn, an English boy living in America.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cruise Control

Rae had been unimpressed when her mum first told her about the honeymoon. Probably because the marriage had been so sudden and Rae still wasn’t so sure about her mum’s new husband, Karim.

“You know that your Great Aunt Jane passed away recently,” her mum had said. “Well, she didn’t have any children of her own, so she left us a bit of money. And now I’ve put some aside for the house and all that, but with the rest I thought it would be nice to take a little holiday. Like a bit of a honeymoon for me and Karim.”

“Wow, that’s wonderful for you,” Rae had replied unenthusiastically.

“Now, Rae, I know I always said that I would take you on a proper holiday some time if I ever had the money…”

Rae had rolled her eyes at this point.

“…and so I’d love if you came with us!”

“You want me to come on your honeymoon?”

“Honeymoon-slash-family holiday, yeah?”

“Are you serious?” She smiled uncertainly. She’d never been on a proper holiday before.

But now Rae was having doubts about the whole thing again, as she was being herded down the cruise ship corridor with the other ~~cattle~~ passengers in order to learn what to do in an emergency. She wasn’t scared about being on the ship itself, but hearing all the ways that something could go wrong didn’t help her nerves.

To distract herself, she started to look around at all the people and make up back-stories for them. That couple over there was celebrating their 89th wedding anniversary. That family was actually a bunch of Russian spies. That woman had three pet ferrets at home that she missed very much. That guy was…whoa, cute.

She looked away just as his eyes met hers and tried to remain calm, but she worried he was going to think that she had been staring at him. (How long before looking becomes staring?)

She glanced back over and he was still looking at her, and then she wondered if maybe he was staring, but when she went to check again his attention was diverted.

The safety demonstration ended, so she and her mum and stepdad trudged up the stairs to their room. She was disappointed that she had to share a room with them, but she wasn’t allowed to book her own room, as she was still a minor. It would have been too expensive, anyhow. Luckily the ship was quite large so she would be able to find ways of ditching them, she was sure.

“I’m going to go look around for a bit,” she told her mum.

“Alright, just be back by half past five to get ready for dinner,” her mum replied as she went about unpacking her luggage.

Rae made her way to the lifts, and decided to take one of the large glass ones instead of the regular ones so she could see more of the ship on her way down to the lobby to people-watch.

On her way past one of the floors, she thought she spotted the same cute guy again, so she pressed the button for that floor in order to try to find him. (It wasn’t as though she was going to talk to him, or anything; just stalk him from a respectable distance.) (Nothing outrageous.)

When she got there, however, he was nowhere to be found. She was going to have to find something else to entertain herself, then.

***

It was quarter to six by the time Rae returned to the room, and her mum was already a little ticked off at her for being late.

“Here, put this on,” her mum said, shoving a dress into her hands.

“It’s not formal night,” Rae whined. “Why can’t I just wear what I’ve got on?”

“I know it’s not formal night, but it’s the first night here and don’t you want to look nice?”

“No.”

“Just do it, Rae, for Christ’s sake!”

Rae took the dress reluctantly and changed in the tiny bathroom.

They headed off to the dining room shortly afterwards, and she felt even more ridiculous as she realized that most people were wearing t-shirts, and she was in what might as well have been a ball gown for how out of place she felt. She was just glad she hadn’t let her mum do her hair or makeup.

The three of them were shown to their table and took their seats, but Rae noticed there were three other chairs at the table.

“Who are those for?” she asked her mum.

“Another group of people, I suppose.”

“Why do we have to share a table with other people?”

“There’s only the three of us, Rae. We can’t fill a table on our own now, can we?”

“This is bullsh—”

“Rae!”

Rae’s snapped her head up at her mother’s bark and noticed that their tablemates had arrived: a man and woman about ages of her mum and Karim respectively, and…oh shit, it was the cute guy!

He sat right next to her and she tried to disappear in her seat.

The adults introduced themselves to one another, and were amused that most of the people at the table (except Karim and the woman) were English. (What a small world! Etc.)

“Rae,” her mum hissed at her. “Introduce yourself; don’t be rude!”

“I’m Rae,” she muttered, looking down at her place setting.

“Ray as in Raymond?” the guy asked.

She turned her head to look at him, annoyed. “Rae as in Rachel!”

He raised his eyebrows and looked away, like he thought she was overreacting.

“This is Finn,” the man said, putting a hand on his son’s shoulder. “Don’t mind him.”

“You know, I just had a great idea,” said Rae’s mum. “Why don’t you two kids explore the ship after dinner? Scope out the fun activities, get to know the lay of the land?”

Rae glared at her mother who smiled at her innocently. She knew the only reason her mum was doing this was to get some time alone in the room with Karim. Disgusting.

“That’s not a bad idea,” said the other man. “Otherwise this guy’s just going to spend the entire week cooped up in his room.”

Rae and Finn exchanged dubious glances, silently bonded by hatred of their parents.

***

After dinner, Rae was allowed to change into more casual clothes before her “playdate.” (Was she two years old, now?)

She had agreed to meet up with Finn on the Lido deck half an hour after dinner, though as she made her way there she wondered if he was even going to show up or if he was just going to wander around the ship by himself while his parents had the room.

She was starting to feel like an idiot for even going herself until she spotted him standing next to the edge of the ship. Though, as she approached, that feeling of idiocy really started to sink in. What was she doing? Meeting up with a stranger? Just because her mum told her to?

“So, this is kind of weird, huh,” she said after a moment, standing next to him, facing the water.

“I’ve been on ships like this before—you get used to the motion and hardly notice it after a while,” he replied without looking at her.

“No, I mean this. Our parents kicking us out of our rooms so they can have alone time; I mean, how transparent is that?”

“I wasn’t kicked out of my room.”

“You weren’t?”

“I have my own room.”

“What? How did you manage that? I thought you couldn’t get your own room as a minor.”

“Well, technically my dad is supposed to be in the room with me and Jenna is supposed to be on her own, according to the booking, but don’t tell anyone.”

“So why are you out here with me instead of alone in your room?”

“I was told to.”

“You don’t strike me as the type of guy who does everything he’s told.” She looked at him and noticed a hint of a smile on his face.

“Honestly, it’s just nice to hang out with someone who’s not American for a change,” he said. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, my best friends are American, but sometimes they can be a bit—”

“Loud?” From her brief time aboard the ship, Rae could already tell she was going to have a hard time getting used to the noise level.

“Yeah…”

“So do you live here, then?”

“On this ship?”

“I mean in America.”

“Yeah, in L.A.; Jenna’s a _Hollywood actress_.” Finn sneered a little when he said “Hollywood.”

“Would I have seen her in anything?” Rae asked.

“Not unless you pay attention to background extras a lot.”

She laughed a little and he broke into a real smile.

“Alright,” he said, “let’s have a look around this place. I don’t know where anything is.”

“I thought you said you’ve been on ships like this before.”

“Yeah, but I always just stay cooped up in my room, remember?”

“I’m guessing that a cruise holiday wasn’t your idea, then,” Rae said as they started to walk.

“Not exactly,” Finn replied, like that was a huge understatement. “My dad and Jenna love them, and they’d rather pay for me to come along than let me have the house to myself for a week. As if I would throw a huge party or something—which I definitely would.”

“Well, this wasn’t my first choice either.”

“What was your first choice, then?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I just couldn’t picture myself on a Caribbean cruise, that’s all.”

“Well, here you are. Thrilling, isn’t it?”

They wandered around the ship, exploring the common areas that weren’t 18+, but skillfully managed to avoid the youth dance club. It was over an hour before Rae checked the time.

“Shit, I was supposed to be back at my room ten minutes ago!” she said.

“What, you have a curfew?” Finn said with a mocking tone.

“My mother just likes to know where I am, and since our phones don’t work out here in the ocean…”

“Okay, well, I’ll see you around, then.”

She was slightly surprised by how abruptly he left. At the very least she thought he would walk with her to the lifts, if not to her room. It was almost like he was suddenly off-duty, like he’d been her babysitter for the evening.

For some reason she was a little disappointed as she headed back to her room—even more so when she got there and found that her mum had left her a note saying that she and Karim had gone to the adult-only comedy show. Meaning Rae could have stayed out for another hour!

She briefly wondered if she’d be able to find Finn again if she went back out there, but decided it would be a waste of time. He obviously didn’t want to spend any more time with her than he absolutely had to. Instead she read a book and fell asleep before her mum and stepdad returned.

***

Rae spent the next day reading on her balcony, as she felt like she’d already seen everything she needed to see on the ship, and didn’t have any interest in swimming in a pool full of children.

She only left her family’s room to grab some lunch, hoping she wouldn’t run into someone in particular on the way… (But she also sort of hoped that she would… It’s a teenage girl thing.)

The only people she ran into, however, were her mum and Karim, who were also getting lunch on their break from playing trivia games in the lobby. They invited Rae to come back to trivia with them, but she just returned to the room alone. If this was what it was like to be on a cruise, then she did not get the appeal.

When her mum got back to the room hours later, she immediately started getting ready for dinner. It was “Elegant” night in the dining room, so this time Rae _had_ to get dressed up nice. She put on the only other dress she brought with her, that also happened to be the only other dress she owned. Her mum also made her do her hair and makeup, which she hated. At least she didn’t feel as overdressed walking into the dining room this time, though.

The three of them were the first at their table again that night, and even ordered their food before their tablemates arrived, since it seemed they weren’t coming. But they did show up eventually, and Rae had to fight to keep her jaw from dropping when she saw Finn walk in wearing a fitted black shirt and tie with dress slacks. (Damn, he cleaned up well.)

When he sat down, she realized there was actually a small grey print on his shirt, so subtle that you’d have to be sitting right next to him to notice, which she was, of course. She was trying not to stare at his shirt, though, lovely as it was.

Their parents talked about what they’d been up to on the cruise so far, and made plans together for the following day in Grand Turk—getting drunk in a large pool, apparently.

“I suppose the two of you will have to find something else to do, though,” Rae’s mum said to her and Finn.

“There’s a nice beach,” said Finn’s dad. “I know you don’t care for swimming, Finn, but a walk on the beach couldn’t hurt ya.”

“It could,” Finn said as he swirled the ice around in his glass of water. “Haven’t you heard of sunstroke? Skin cancer?”

“You’re not staying in your room all week this time, son. Besides, Rae clearly wants to go to the beach, the least you could do is go with her.”

Rae could feel her cheeks get hot the way they did when someone was talking about her. She wasn’t sure what it was about her pale skin and large size that made him think “beach bunny,” anyhow. She would much rather stay in her room as well, but her mum seemed way too keen on the idea of her getting out.

***

They all agreed to meet on the Lido deck for breakfast the next day before leaving the ship. They sat at a rectangular table, rather than a round one like in the dining room, so Rae ended up sitting across from Finn rather than beside him, which meant she had to put nearly all her energy into gauging the amount of eye contact that would be appropriate for the level of conversation, especially considering the two of them didn’t say much to one another.

What little energy she was not using for that was instead being used to worry about what she was wearing: shorts and a vest top, which was not her usual. But her mother had insisted that she buy some summery clothes specifically for this trip, and then insisted that she wear them.

She felt self-conscious being so exposed, and she could swear that Finn was looking at her judgmentally. She considered faking illness to get out of going on this day trip, but figured that would only make her mum want to take care of her all day, which would probably be even more annoying than going to the beach.

When they disembarked, the adults headed towards the pool with the bar while Rae and Finn went the other direction. They all agreed to meet back on the ship in four hours.

“Have you got SPF on?” he asked her as they walked up the path to the beach.

“What?”

“Just that, with your complexion, you’ll burn in like ten minutes.”

“I’ve got SPF fifteen on,” she said defensively.

“Jeez, that’s practically nothing! Here—” He pulled a tube out of his messenger bag and handed it to her. “SPF fifty.”

“Why do _you_ have SPF fifty?” she asked, noticing that he was not nearly as pale as she was.

“Because skin damage is a thing,” he replied. “Come on, I’ll get your back.”

He took the tube back from her once she had some in her hand and squirted some onto the back of her neck, causing her to flinch from the cold.

“Sorry,” he mumbled as he rubbed it into her neck and upper back. He even moved her vest and bra straps out of the way to get her shoulders, which she thought was weirdly intimate. Yet he did it all with a begrudging air about him, again like he was her unwilling caregiver for the day.

“Don’t forget your face,” he added when she tried to hand the tube back to him after getting her arms and upper chest.

She squeezed some more into her hand and was about to start applying it to her face but stopped suddenly. “I haven’t got a mirror.”

“I’ll tell you if you’ve missed a spot.”

She felt awkward with him watching her while she applied the sunscreen and tried her best to not look at him as he was staring at her face. But he broke into a smile and she frowned at him in confusion.

“What?” she asked.

“You’ve just got a glob on your nose and it looks funny.” He flicked the end of her nose with his finger and chuckled a little. “Better.”

“Thanks.”

He returned the tube to his bag and they continued on towards the beach, where Rae proceeded to complain about the heat at length. She refused to take off her sandals and wade into the water, though, because she didn’t like touching outdoor things with her bare feet.

“I can’t believe we have to be out here for another three-and-a-half hours,” she groaned.

“What makes you think that?”

“Cause the schedule says we’re here until four.”

“Yeah, but we can get back on the ship whenever we want,” he explained. “We just have to be back _by_ four.”

“You’re kidding me! Then what are we still doing out here?”

“I thought you wanted to see the beach.”

“Do I look like someone who spends time on beaches?” she said, waving her hands at herself.

“Not really, but that could be why you wanted to see the beach.”

“Well, I’ve seen it. We can leave.”

“Fine by me.”

When they got back on the ship, Rae was relieved by the cool air conditioning that greeted her, and she stood still for a moment to bask in it.

“You coming back to my room?” Finn asked her, snapping her out of her A/C-appreciation trance.

“Excuse me?” Did he seriously just ask her to go back to his room with him? She couldn’t have heard that right.

“Did you want to come over to my room while we wait? I’ve got some films I downloaded on my computer we could watch.”

“Oh, uh, sure, I guess.”

She followed him to the lifts, which they took up to his floor—one level above hers—and to his room. She was quite jealous that he got his own room, which looked almost the same as the one her family was staying in, but with the layout flipped so it threw her off at first.

She sat down on the horrible little sofa and he set his laptop on the coffee table in front of her before taking a seat as well.

“Have you seen _Brothers of the Head_?” he asked.

“I don’t think so.”

“It’s a faux documentary set in the seventies about these conjoined twins who get turned into punk rock stars, and the music in it is brilliant.”

It sounded just weird enough to be right up her alley, and it was. And he was right about the music, too; she was going to need the soundtrack.

“Uh-oh, looks like you got a little burn after all,” he said once the film was over, nodding his head towards her.

She looked down expecting to see something on her arms, but instead found a bright pink crescent on top of her left breast—where her top must have shifted while she was outside. She quickly hiked up her neckline to try and cover it, feeling awkward about the fact that it had drawn attention to her chest, which did not need any help drawing attention, generally speaking.

“I should probably get going now.”

He watched as she stood, but remained seated. “Okay, see you at dinner, then.”

“Yeah.”

***

Rae did not see Finn at dinner that night, however, because she told her mum she wasn’t feeling well—too much sun, she said—and stayed in the room all evening, listening to music on her iPod and reading. She felt weird about seeing him again, for some reason.

“You missed an excellent dinner, Rae,” her mum said when she returned. “You were missed as well.”

“Really?” Rae replied without interest. “By who?”

“Well, by me and Karim, of course. And I think Finn missed having someone his own age to talk to.”

“Since when do he and I even talk at dinner?”

“Maybe after spending the day at the beach you’d have something to talk about. I don’t know,” her mother said while fixing up her lipstick. “Perhaps tomorrow night you’ll have more to talk about after spending eight hours in San Juan.”

“Eight hours on another beach?”

“It’s not a beach, it’s a city with a lot of history. You might enjoy it. Now, we’re going down to the casino for a while, but you should get some rest so you’re feeling better tomorrow, alright?”

“Yeah, fine,” Rae grumbled.

***

Although she was glad to be wearing less beachy attire—rolled up jeans and a band tee—Rae was not looking forward to today’s outing. Her mum had decided they were going to spend the day with Finn’s family as one large group, since his dad and stepmother had been there before and could help them navigate.

“Feeling any better?” Finn asked her as they were waiting in line to leave the ship.

“What? Oh, yeah,” she said. “Thanks.”

She wasn’t sure why he would be interested in her well-being, so she figured he was just being polite. Not that he seemed the type to be polite, though.

Once they were all off the ship, they made their way through town up to the Castillo San Felipe del Morro. Rae, however, had no interest in paying money to look at a fort, but her mum made her go.

Afterwards, they all stopped outside as Finn’s stepmom pulled a small kite out of her large tote bag. Rae noticed there were lots of people flying kites out on the grass, but most of them had small children with them. Finn’s dad took the kite and started to remove it from its packaging, making Rae think he intended to fly it, despite the lack of small children accompanying them.

“Would you like the first turn, son?” he asked Finn, who looked like he was about to drop dead of embarrassment. With no response, he turned to Rae and offered.

“Um, no thanks,” she said meekly. There was no way she was going to be seen flying a kite.

“Look, dad, maybe we’ll just wander through town for a little while instead,” Finn suggested. “We’ll meet you at dinner.”

“You sure you know the way back?” his dad asked.

Finn pointed in the direction from which they originally came and said, “The boat’s that way. I got it.”

He and Rae walked through Old San Juan, heading vaguely in the direction of the ship, stopping at a Starbucks to cool off with some refreshments.

“I know we should have gone to a local café instead of a huge chain like this,” Rae said as they sat down. “But at least here you know what you’re getting.” She paused to take a sip of her beverage. “As you can tell, I don’t travel much.”

“No, I get it,” Finn replied. “I travel a fair amount, and sometimes it’s nice to just have something that’s the same as home, you know?”

She looked down at her drink as she set it on the table between them. “How long have you lived in America?”

“Three years. We moved when dad and Jenna got married.”

“Oh. Wow. My mum and Karim have only been married a few weeks.”

“And you’re not too happy about it, I gather.”

“I wasn’t at first—I mean, it was just so sudden. But I’m getting used to it.”

They continued to walk through town for a bit before heading back onto the ship to watch another film in Finn’s room, though this time they watched it on the bed so they could flop onto their backs with their heads propped up, since they were tired from all the walking. They watched _What We Do in the Shadows_ and laughed a lot.

“I guess we should head down for dinner,” he said once the film was over.

“Yeah, I guess,” she replied, a little disappointed since she’d been having so much fun.

When they got to the dining room, none of their parents were there yet, so they sat at the huge table by themselves. Their server came by to ask if they were dining alone tonight.

“Our families are on their way, I think,” Finn said to her.

He received a text message as she walked away, though—he managed to get some mobile service as they were still in Puerto Rico. He explained to Rae that it was a message from his dad saying that their parents were running late and would be grabbing dinner on the Lido deck tonight.

“I guess that means we eat without them,” he added.

It was strange, Rae thought, eating at a big empty table, seated right next to another person. It almost felt like it was just the two of them in the whole dining room.

Not that she was complaining.

***

The next day, nearly an hour after her mum and Karim had left for breakfast, there was a knock on Rae’s door. She was afraid to answer in case it was a crewmember that she would have to interact with awkwardly while they made towel animals or something.

“Rae?” said the person on the other side of the door. “It’s me. Open up.”

She had no idea why Finn was at her room, but she opened the door to let him in anyway—once she had put a robe on over her pyjamas, of course.

“What are you doing here? How did you even know which room I was in?” she asked.

“I ran into your mum at breakfast and she said you weren’t feeling well today so I thought I would check in,” he explained. “She gave me the room number.”

“Oh, did she send you over here to check on me? Like I need a babysitter?”

“What? No. I just wanted to see if you were okay.”

“Oh.”

“So…are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Are you okay?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m just tired out from yesterday so I didn’t really feel like joining in on today’s shore excursion.”

“Alright, well, d’you think you’ll be feeling up to doing something tonight?”

She eyed him suspiciously. “Like what?”

“Well, since our folks ditched us for dinner last night, I thought we could ditch them tonight and go to the steakhouse. I can make us a reservation right now,” he said, reaching for the room phone.

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah.”

“We can’t do that!”

“Why not?”

“One, I can’t afford it—”

“Whatever, I’ll pay.”

“—and two, it would be weird. Right?”

“Look, all I’m saying is I want some fuckin’ surf ‘n’ turf, alright?”

“Hey, watch it. We’re werewolves, not swearwolves, remember?”

He smiled like he was trying not to laugh. “Come on, think about it. Shrimp cocktail, filet mignon, lobster…”

“I’ve never had any of those before.”

“All the more reason!”

She huffed for a moment, then sighed. “Alright, fine.”

He called to make the reservation for seven o’clock. “So,” he said when he hung up, “I’ll pick you up here at quarter to, yeah?”

“Um, sure.”

“Great. Later.”

As he left, she wondered to herself what she was going to do for the next eight hours and fifteen minutes. Well, a shower would probably be a good start.

***

Rae was dressed (in her first dress again) and ready to go by half past six—her parents had already left for their usual dining spot. As it got closer and closer to quarter to seven, she started to wonder if maybe Finn had forgotten about their plans, or worse; maybe it had all been a mean trick and he actually made that reservation for him and some pretty girl that he’d met on the cruise, and—

There was a knock on the door.

She answered and found Finn on the other side, wearing a light blue printed shirt with a dark blue tie, which complemented his brown eyes.

“Wow,” she blurted out before she could stop herself.

“What?”

“Uh, nothing.” She went to grab her purse from the table and headed out the door with him.

It was a good thing that they left with so much time before their reservation, since they got lost along the way, so they were right on time when they finally arrived.

“Are we celebrating anything tonight?” the server asked them as they were seated.

“It’s our one-year anniversary, actually,” said Finn before Rae had a chance to say “no.”

“That’s wonderful!”

“Why did you say that?” Rae asked in a hushed voice once the server had left to allow them to peruse the menu.

“I wanted to see if we’d get anything special,” Finn replied.

The server returned with some amuse-bouches for them, compliments of the chef—although it looked like everyone around them got some as well, so maybe it wasn’t a special thing.

By the time Rae had eaten her Caesar salad and shrimp cocktail, she wasn’t sure she’d have room to eat her main course, until she tried a bite of lobster for the first time and decided she had to have it all.

“This is the best filet mignon I’ve ever had,” she added after trying that as well.

“I thought you said you’d never had it before.”

“I know, but it’s still the best.”

“It is. You’re right.”

Despite the fact that Rae felt like she was going to burst, the server still brought them dessert, as it was a prix fixe menu and everything was included.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” she muttered as she examined the fourteen-ounce slice of cheesecake set in front of them.

“Hey now, we’re werewolves not sw—”

“Yeah, yeah, but have you seen this? It’s obscene!”

They managed to take three bites between the two of them before giving up and leaving.

“I don’t think I’ve ever eaten so much in my life,” she said as they headed over to her room.

“I didn’t realize there would be so much food,” he replied. “I mean, I should have guessed, but…”

“Have you not been before?”

“No, I’ve only heard what it’s like from dad and Jenna.”

“So this was an untested date, then?”

He stopped outside the door of her room. “Date?”

“Wait, no, I didn’t mean like a _date_ , I just meant—”

“Goodnight, Rae,” he said with a small smile before he left.

***

Rae wanted to hide out in her room again the next day, after the embarrassment of calling her dinner with Finn a _date_ , but her mum wouldn’t let her spend their last shore day cooped up. They had already made plans with the Nelsons—Finn’s family name, so she learned—to take a boat ride from the Dutch side of St. Maarten to the French side.

 _Goodie, another boat_ , she thought to herself.

The boat ride was excruciating, partly because the adults were getting drunk on punch, and partly because she and Finn barely said more than hello to each other all morning. She really had stuck her foot in it, hadn’t she?

When they got off the boat, they were given an hour to look around before they needed to catch the bus back to the Dutch side. They looked at a craft market and got some nibbles at a patisserie.

The bus back, however, was terrifying. Rae was seated next to Finn, and every time the bus whizzed around a tight corner, uphill, into oncoming traffic, she involuntarily grabbed his arm to steady herself.

“Sorry,” she muttered for the third time as she let go of him.

He turned his arm so that his hand was facing palm up and nudged her with his elbow. “Hold on,” he said right before they were about to go around another bend.

She couldn’t help but grab his hand as they turned the corner, though when they came out of the turn, she found she was unable to let go, as he was holding onto her hand too. When she looked at him, he was just gazing out the window, but she could see the trace of a smirk on his face in profile.

He didn’t speak to her again until they were back on the ship, though. The adults went to go do some more day drinking, so Finn invited Rae back to his room to watch another film.

“Are you sure?” she asked as they headed to the lifts.

“Am I sure about what?”

“Are you sure that you want to hang out with me? You’ve barely said a word to me all day.”

He stepped into the lift and pressed the button for his floor, holding back a smile. “I just don’t want it to seem like I’m having a good time with ya.”

“Oh. What?”

“If my dad and Jenna see me having a good time on a cruise, they’ll keep dragging me along on them,” he explained. “I didn’t tell ‘em we went out last night either—they thought you were still not well and that I ate by myself on the Lido deck.”

Rae frowned to keep from smiling; it was just so ridiculous. “We didn’t exactly _go out_ , though, did we? I mean, we stayed on the ship.”

“Yeah, but it was, like, a date, right?”

The lift opened onto his floor and she followed him down the corridor to his room, stunned. He just said that last night was a date!

Or, rather, he said it was “like a date,” which meant that it wasn’t a real date, only date-like. It was the sort of situation one might find oneself in on a date, but it wasn’t itself a date.

He held the door open for her so she edged past him into the room. She chose to sit on the uncomfortable sofa again, because she thought it would be weird to sit on the bed, what with the undetermined nature of their hangout session.

Placing his laptop on the coffee table, he took a seat beside her. “Your sunburn’s looking better,” he said, leaning on his arm across the back of the sofa.

She looked down and noticed that the top button of her shirt had popped open, exposing her vest and a bit more skin than she had intended. “Um, yeah, it’s feeling better.”

“Did you put vinegar on it?”

“No. Why?”

“It’s supposed to help with painful sunburns.”

“It wasn’t that painful.”

“Well, that’s good.” He hooked his index finger around the collar of her shirt and moved it so he could get a better view of the burn. “Cause it looked like it hurt.”

“It’s fine.”

His hand lingered over the collar of her shirt for a moment before it trailed downward, his fingertip grazing her décolletage until it reached the patch of sunburnt skin. “Good,” he said quietly, almost contemplatively, as he stared at the spot where his hand lightly touched her.

She didn’t realize how close his face was to hers until he looked up at her, his eyes darker than she remembered.

“So,” she said with an awkward laugh. “How about that film?”

“It can wait, right?”

She watched as his face drew nearer, unable to move out of the way—or perhaps just unwilling. She closed her eyes when his lips met hers, as it was too much for all her senses to handle at once.

His hand continued to trail downward, stopping at the first fastened button of her shirt, which he opened one-handed. She immediately clamped her hand over his, but let go as soon as she realized she was clutching it to her chest.

“I’ve got to go,” she said, standing up.

“Rae…”

“I need to get ready for dinner, so… I’ll see you around.”

“Wait, Rae—”

She left before he could say whatever it was he wanted to say to her.

It was still a couple of hours until dinner, though, and she didn’t want to go back to her room since that would be the first place he’d look for her, so she meandered around the ship, not staying in any one place for fear that he would find her and make her more confused than she already was.

***

After wandering aimlessly for a good hour, Rae returned to her room, figuring that it would be safe. When she turned the corner, however, she froze. Finn was standing outside her door, apparently waiting for her.

She wondered if she could run away without him noticing, but he’d already spotted her.

“Rae!” he said, heading towards her with a slight jog in his step.

She decided to ignore him and walk right past into her room.

“Rae, please, I’m sorry.” He stood next to her as she unlocked her door and wouldn’t let her close it on him.

“Sorry for what?” she said innocently.

“Sorry for…what happened.” He looked around nervously in the corridor. “Look, can I just come in to explain?”

She stepped aside to let him into the room but didn’t say anything.

“I made a mistake,” he began. “I thought—I thought you liked me, which is stupid, I know, but I thought you liked me and since we only have two more days on the ship I thought…”

“You thought I’d just sleep with you? Just like that?”

“What? No, I wasn’t trying to—”

“Do you think I’m so desperate because I’m fat that I’ll just do it with anyone who pretends to show an interest?”

“Of course I don’t think that! What are you even talking about? Who’s pretending?”

“You are! With your, ‘that sunburn on your tit is looking better, hurr hurr,’ and then you kissed me to make me think you liked me and—”

“I do like you, Rae! And I wasn’t tryna sleep with ya—yeah, alright, maybe I wanted to get under your top, but that was it! Just a bit of fun before we have to go and never see each other again. But it’s clear you aren’t interested.”

“Not in that. Not in ‘a bit of fun’ and then we never see each other again,” she said, looking down at her feet. “I just can’t do that.”

He took a step closer to her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”

There was laughter coming from the corridor that Rae recognized as her mum’s after a few cocktails.

“Shit, you’ve got to hide!” she said, shoving him out onto the balcony and closing the curtains just as her mum and Karim walked in.

“What are you doing over there?” her mum asked.

“Oh, I was just reading on the balcony, but it got too sunny, so I came in and closed the curtain to cool off a bit. Why are you back so early?”

“I just came to get my cardigan for dinner; we’re going to listen to some jazz before dinner so we’ll meet you there, love.” She grabbed her sweater from the closet and headed back out.

Once Rae was sure they were gone, she let Finn back into the room.

“Why did I have to hide from your mum?” he asked.

“Because she would think something was going on!”

“Doesn’t she know that you don’t fool around with guys you won’t ever see again?”

“But I also don’t generally hang out with guys who look like you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, give over! You know you’re like devastatingly handsome or whatever,” she said, waving dismissively in his general direction.

He seemed far too pleased to hear that.

“What, like it’s a secret?” she continued. “You look good. So what?”

“Well, thanks, you look good, too.”

“Shut up.”

“What?”

“I do not.”

“You do! I mean, that dress you wore to dinner last night—nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“I think that was the food. Anyway, you can give up trying to flatter me; I already told ya I’m not interested in a one-time thing.”

“I wasn’t…”

“Look, I’ve really got to get ready for dinner now, so…”

“Yeah. Alright,” he said as she ushered him towards the door. “See you in a bit, then.”

But she did not see him at dinner, as she spent the night in her room with a book. Again.

***

Rae spent the following day reading on the balcony as well, much to her mother’s dismay. Of course, she left to get food occasionally, but always brought it back to the room so she could be alone.

“That’s it, young lady,” her mum said when she got back from the spa that afternoon. “You’ve been moping around here long enough. Now, it’s the last night here and the last formal night in the dining room, so you are going to get dressed up and join us for dinner, and that’s the end of it. You hear me?”

Rae put on her first dress again—the same one she wore to the steakhouse—because she had already worn the other one on the first elegant night. It had nothing to do with the fact that Finn seemed to like it, probably.

When she and her family arrived at the dining room, Finn and his parents were already there. She noticed he was wearing his black shirt again, only this time with a red tie. During dinner, a photographer came by to take photos of each “couple” at the table, including Rae and Finn. She thought that his red tie probably looked pretty nice next to her turquoise dress, as much as she felt weird about getting her picture taken with him.

At the end of the meal, the adults shook hands and exchanged “It was nice to meet you”s, while the young’uns exchanged shy and slightly embarrassed glances. And that was it. The last time she would ever see Finn.

Or so she thought.

He came by her room a couple hours later, while her mum and Karim were still at the casino and she was already in her pyjamas, and handed her a photograph.

“What’s this?” she asked as she took it from him. Upon examination, it was the photo of the two of them taken at dinner that evening.

“I bought a fucking print, can you believe it?”

“Why would you—?”

“Look at the back.”

She flipped it over and found there was an email address written on the reverse.

“That’s so you can find me on Facebook or Twitter or Skype or wherever,” he explained. “Or you could just email me, if you’re old fashioned like that.”

A small smile crept onto her face.

“My dad wants to go back to England for a visit soon,” he continued. “And of course he’ll drag me along so I don’t cause trouble at home… So while I’m there, I might as well drop by and say hello, yeah?”

Her smile widened.

“You were right,” he added with a more serious tone. “I don’t want to just kiss you and never see you again; I want to see you every day. But if I can’t do that, can I at least Internet chat you every day?”

She turned the photo over repeatedly as she contemplated what he was telling her.

“Well? Say something.” He shoved his hands in his pockets nervously.

“Get in here,” she said, grabbing him by his tie and pulling him into the room.

He stumbled forward, but she caught him with a kiss.

Maybe going on holiday wasn’t so bad after all.

 


End file.
